I could write a book with all that I've seen, good, bad, and in between. I have a handful of patients of which I can't forget. Thelma was a little old woman who had cerebral palsy, was frail, yet so sweet. She has always been my favorite as she reminds me so much of my grandma. Gary, who's family welcomed me into their family. Sadly, Gary had esophageal cancer from years of smoking. Eventually, he passed away. There's a sweet little old Hispanic male who was my first patient that I bonded with as a new nurse. Manny was his name, he had a large family, although they didn't visit him often. I would sit on the edge of his bed and watch TV with him on my down time. One of the night nurses failed to place the bed alarm on. Manny tried to get out of bed to urinate, and quickly became dizzy and fell. Manny broke his neck upon falling on the floor, and passed away. This was one of the first deaths that I struggled with.
And of course there's Roger. He was a little old man who had nine lives (I kid you not)! His brother lives on the East Coast, aside from that, he doesn't have family. I use to yell at Roger because he was so stubborn and persnickety, yet we bonded when I took him for a chest x-ray. I found out that he was fearful of loosing his trailer if he went into a nursing home. His fear stemmed from being homeless at one point during his adult life. Roger was in and out of the ICU for aspiration pneumonia. I recall the last time I visited him, I walked into his hospital room and he began crying happy tears. He reached his hand out for mine, he quickly grabbed it, kissed it, and cried into it. He passed away last year, which broke my heart. I think of him often, and talk to him as if he can hear me. I truly had a love for him as the elderly are my weak point. He felt like a grandparent.
I'll never forget my time in trauma! The week that Adam and I decided to go forth with adoption, we had three young infants (not from the same family, and all on separate days) who had been shaken, and unfortunately passed away. Each of them suffered what's called a subdural hematoma, or bleeding in the brain. The first was a three day old little girl. She was my first code in the operating room, on my first night of taking call by myself. Then there was the prison inmate who kept removing his abdominal staples as a means of staying in the hospital. There was another inmate who would place random items in his rectum, of which would wonder it's way up into his colon, therefore requiring surgery to remove the item/s. There was another inmate who would swallow silverware, of course requiring surgery. I was the primary nurse for one of the captains that Adam works with. And yet another of Adam's coworker's sister-in-law. The most satisfying cases were when we would harvest organs of one whom had passed, to supply life to many who would otherwise die. These seemed to be the easy cases, yet heart wrenching when the family members would request that I read a prayer prior to beginning the case. This brought life to the patient, whom otherwise I had never met prior. I was forced to place a name and a face together, which hit too close to home.
I will never forget the mother who's son was declared brain dead after a horrible car accident. She decided to donate his organs. My routine was to go to the ICU to meet the family members (of the patient who we were going to harvest their organs) and to let them know that I would take the best care of their loved one, as this is what I would want if I were in their shoes. The mother asked if she could have her son's name band, as she had held onto his name band from birth. I explained that unfortunately we are not able to remove name bands, as we have to follow a strict patient identifying system, which included the name band. Yet all of a sudden, a light clicked in my mind. I requested a new name band from the ward clerk, of which I then placed on the patient, and cut his other band off and gave (with love) to his mother. The hug that she gave me was powerful. We both began crying while holding each other.
I could go on and on, however I am absolutely exhausted after the week that I've had. Please disregard any rambling as noted above. I truly can not think straight at this point due to lack of sleep. I'm so tire that I do not feel like proof reading what I've written, but wanted to share a post of achieving such great memories and experience.
P.S. I have often felt like a drug dealer as at times, I am simply running from the med room to the patient's room with drugs...
Seven years of nursing is now in my tool belt, with many more years to come!
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