My anxiety level has gone through the roof and I'm unsure if it will come down before baby boy is born. I finally reached my breaking point last night while at work and started bawling to Adam over the phone. I have not had much anxiety or feelings of being overwhelmed until last night. We're trying to meet with our social worker to review our tummy mommies hospital plan, yet the only day that she's able to meet Adam is working a trade shift (at work). I am beginning to feel that we're being placed on the back burner in a sense.
Perhaps it's just the unknown that scares me. We've waited so long to have a child and our time has finally come. I can't imagine having to share time in the hospital with our tummy mommy, yet she has the parental rights for the first 72 hours and what she decides has to go. She has already mentioned that she wants to spend as much time with him as possible, yet this is so difficult for me. I don't want to let him out of my arms although I know that I'm going to have to.
While I want our spider monkey (AKA David Michael) to continue to "bake" in tummy mommy's oven, I am ready for this to all be finalized. I just keep reminding myself to breathe, that's all I can do besides having a friend at work start and IV with an ativan drip. Oh God I'd be so happy if I could do that!!!
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